I don’t know about you, but towards the end of July I become keenly aware of the days shortening. There’s still a good bit of summer left, but a significant change in the light is a reminder that fall will soon be here.
Around the same time as I noticed the days shortening, John and I discovered Nordic Noir Crime Dramas on Netflix. We have become obsessed! Some of our favorites have been Chestnut Man and Breakthrough.
I must admit I lean towards the mysterious, the dark, and the spooky. I’ve been a fan of Edgar Allen Poe since elementary school. That was probably a little early to read Poe, but it is what it is.
I like to think that this draw towards the dark and towards these Nordic Noir shows is tied directly to my Finnish heritage. (Niemi is a Finnish name.) When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Deep in my DNA is a land where the sun might not rise for fifty straight days.
In the dark, there is mystery. We can’t see as well. Even familiar things can be shadows.
Shadows are often associated with something frightening, and the Nordic Noir shows have certainly done a great job leaning into creepy!
But I don’t associate dark with scary, the same way I don’t associate minor harmony with sadness.
To me, they are more neutral. Cozy. Curious.
I have never had Seasonal Affective Disorder. The dark does not bother me. Rather, I welcome it. I don’t like winter more than other seasons, but to me, it’s a time for reflection.
To be quiet, to read, to be transported to far-away places through words. To stay inside, to tend the fire, to create. To think, to wonder, to ponder, to question.
What is out there? What is beyond what we can see? What is hiding and waiting to be revealed?
It’s also a time to look within. Just like we can’t see outside ourselves in the dark, often our own secrets are obscured deep inside where the light cannot reach. We must probe to find out what is there.
Questions and darkness don’t need to be scary or depressing. They are enigmas and we are sleuths. They provide an opportunity to learn more about the world and ourselves.
But we must go carefully. It’s an intuitive process.
Our cat, Paulie, is blind, so his world is dark. As he wanders around the house, he walks slowly. He sniffs and feels the air with his whiskers. He goes cautiously because sometimes he bumps his nose into things. If he went too fast, he would get hurt.
When we feel things out, we must not run with abandon.
Where we live, the fog can get very thick – so thick you can’t see the mountains. If I ran down a trail in the fog, I could trip over rocks or even fall off a cliff! That is not wise.
But going slowly, moving carefully and feeling the land will lead us to our destination.
I am not a fast composer, and sometimes I get frustrated by that. My process is very intuitive. which is something my very first composition teacher recognized in me. I have told John before that I often feel like I’m holding a divining rod asking, “where’s the next note?”
I do not follow pre-determined forms in any kind of exact fashion. My process and my music are more like exploring and discovering an unknown land, wondering at what we have found, than following an already-made map.
So, no two pieces are alike.
The “white page” is like a dark night. I don’t know what’s out there (or in it) yet. Sure, it is a bit fearful. But it’s also strangely intriguing.
I think this is a mindset that needs to be cultivated, both in creating and in welcoming the longer days.
Instead of fearing the blank page, we can recognize its invitation to dream.
Instead of mourning the loss of daylight, we can welcome a season of introspection.
What do you think? I’d love to hear from you!
Do you like the dark? Do you like mystery? What makes you wonder? How do you handle the longer days?
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Thank you for all your support!
Happy Music Making,
Heather
