“If a creator is so afraid of judgment that they’re unable to move forward, it might be that the desire to share the work isn’t as strong as the desire to protect themselves. Perhaps art isn’t their role. Their temperament might serve a different purpose. This path isn’t for everyone.”

~ Rick Rubin, in The Creative Act: A Way of Being

We all know that criticism and adversity are part of the plan when it comes to making a life in the arts. When we face it, does that mean we should quit, or does it mean we need to steel ourselves and keep going anyway?

These are important questions that no one can answer for us. We alone can decide if we have the temperament to face the adversity and continue on or choose a different path.

Maybe it is not criticism, adversity, or fear that tells us our answer, but our response to it.

I asked myself, "How bad do you want it?"

I grew up having a tremendous amount of anxiety.

One very memorable time took place during my senior year of high school. I was preparing for the All-State auditions on saxophone. For three full days before my audition, I couldn’t move my head. My neck and shoulders were extremely tight and stiff, and I had a splitting headache that could not be relieved even with the maximum amount of Motrin. Shoulder massages and stretching didn’t touch the tension.

I dealt with it then the same way I dealt with every other moment of anxiety: I asked myself, “How bad do you want it?”

In some ways, I wasn’t nice to myself by asking this question. I was kicking myself hard in the rear. But at the same time, I was telling myself what I knew was true: if I really wanted what was on the other side of the anxiety, I had to plow through, Hell be damned.

I know now that is not the healthiest way to deal with anxiety, and I have learned many better approaches since.

But that was the tool I had in my pocket back then, and I used it because I wanted “it” so bad: the spot in All-State, acceptance to music school, a career as a musician, my pieces to be performed. All my future dreams.

Each person must decide what they want and what they find "hard."

The question about the desire and ability to face adversity and keep going is not limited to music, though. And it’s not limited to careers.

All throughout life, a person must ask, “How bad do I want what is on the other side of this challenge?”

If we want “it” bad enough, we must figure out a way to get through.

Ultimately, we face two decisions. One is “How bad do you want it?” and the other is, “Choose your hard.”

What do you want more? To stay small and safe, or to go big and be risky? Which is harder for you? Staying small or taking the risk?

No one else can answer these things for you. And neither is wrong.

“Hard” is a relative term.

Some people might define hard as financial insecurity or facing criticism and rejection. Others might define hard as an inner regret over opportunities passed by or feeling like they haven’t lived fully.

The important thing is to know why you are choosing what you are choosing, and that you feel right about it. You need to be able to say, “I choose this because the other result is not worth it to me. It is not valuable enough to me to suffer like this to get it.”

Where are you at today?

Maybe you’re in a place right now where you know you want the music career that’s on the other side of adversity. And you’re here because you want to know how to keep your spirits up and face the challenge with strength.

Or maybe you’re currently in a period of questioning. You’re not sure if you have the temperament for a career in music. And you’re here to get clarity.

Either way, don’t let the adversity, judgment or criticism itself make the decision. Search within to find your path.

Questions to consider (I suggest writing your answers in a journal):

1. What kinds of criticism, judgment or adversity have you been facing? Be specific. It could be negative feedback you’ve received from people, financial challenges you are facing, rejection from opportunities, etc.

2. If this adversity makes you think about quitting, how do you feel about that option? Would quitting feel like giving up/giving in, or does quitting sound like a relief? What does your answer reveal?

3. If you don’t want to quit, what do you need to overcome the adversity? For example, do you need encouragement to overcome negative feedback? Do you need a day job to help you through a financial crunch? Do you need coaching to help you prepare the next audition?

Action Steps - Pick one or all!

1. Use the chart at the following link for this exercise. On each line, write one of your goals or values. Then circle how close you feel your current circumstances are helping you meet that goal or live out that value. (1 being not at all and 10 being completely.)

2. Draw two pictures of your life in ten years. One is based on the current path you’re on. One is based on an alternate path you are considering (could be music related or not.) Include as much detail as possible. Keep it simple. Stick figures are encouraged! This picture does not have to make sense or have any artistic cohesion! Include a few words if you want. Which one makes you feel the most whole? What do you notice about what is included and what is left out? Can you see some themes?

3. Write down the names of people you can contact that can help you get through the current challenges based on your answer to journal question #3. Bonus step: get in touch with one of them this week.

If you liked this newsletter and found it helpful, you are invited to join The Praeludium community to continue to get access to weekly newsletters, complete with journal prompts and action steps, along with access to our monthly meetings.

Warmly,

Heather